Found Out

Clay discovered my blog today.  He read every entry, in reverse order, from most recent to the first one. I have tried my best to keep this from him.  The first rule of supporting your soldier when they’re deployed is: DO NOT BURDEN THEM WITH PROBLEMS AT HOME.  The only thing they should be focused [...]

Taking Chance

When I saw that Kevin Bacon had been nominated for an Emmy for his role in Taking Chance, an HBO film about the true story of one Marine’s journey as he escorts the body of a fallen soldier back home, it literally took my breath away. Not long after Clay had deployed, I was channel [...]

When My Soldier Comes Home

I would give all the stars in the universe to be standing there with the other military families as Clay returns from Iraq; as he steps off that bus from the airport and slowly walks with all his gear toward the longing and eager embraces waiting for everyone-else-but-him. I could go too, I suppose.  Physically, [...]

In Their Boots

I had the honor of working with Abe Forman-Greenwald, Kristy Tully and Lauretta Molitor on the documentary Silent Partners, which chronicles the effects of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell on the partners of gay and lesbian servicemembers.  (And by ‘working with’ I mean that they did all the work, and I just sat there and tried [...]

Coming Out Day

Can you imagine what would happen if all of the estimated 65,000 currently serving gay and lesbian servicemembers were to come out at once?  What would the effect be on our military readiness and our ability to fight a double-front war if 65,000 highly trained soldiers, from private to general, were suddenly investigated and discharged [...]

Dear Mr. President

An excerpt from a letter I sent several months ago – politically is seems ages ago…  The first half (not included here) seems painfully naive now: “…I am compelled to remind you that there are tens of thousands like me who continue to suffer under the current policy.  My partner is currently serving in Iraq, [...]

Larry and My Grandfathers

(Written after a bad week in February) In the middle of the night, sometime in 1972, my mother woke up screaming, “Larry’s dead! Oh my God, LARRY’S DEAD!” My father calmed her down and told her it was just a bad dream. A day later the call came. Indeed, Larry Marshall had died in Vietnam. [...]

Coping

I drink too much.  I cry a lot.  Sometimes I am punched so hard in the gut with a wave of emotions that it takes me a moment to physically catch my breath.  But I laugh a lot, too -  for this I can thank my friends, without whom I might easily fall apart. Clay [...]

Wish

(I published this some time ago and then deleted it almost immediately. I needed to get it out, but decided it was too… intimate. But part of me needs to prove that I’m not ashamed.) wish i wish i could write about the letter i received from you today. but in doing so i know [...]

H8?

I saw a friend of mine online, and sent her the link to the NYT Op-Ed piece.  We don’t see each other very often, but she has known Clay and I  for over ten years – through my work.  After she finished watching the video, the following IM conversation ensued: 11:38pm Sally that video was [...]

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