Trying to Overachieve among the Overachievers

Alex, the Executive Director of Servicemembers United, reminded me this week that I have a blog and asked me to continue with it. Unfortunately, I have neglected my blog because of the myriad of responsibilities in my life. The Beltway is the Hollywood for those trying to become the next big thing in government, and overachieving in this area just is not enough. If you are not receiving “important” phone calls while at dinner with friends or sending out emails past the evening news, you are not doing enough in an area where you are judged by the model of your Blackberry or what apps you have on your iPhone.

Unfortunately, I fell victim to this mentality. Between work, my relationship, trying to have a social life, and consulting (the true sign of your self-worth in DC), I have neglected one of my favorite activities: writing. I appreciate Alex reminding me about my blog because it is one of the few activities during which I can reflect on how I got to where I am today.

Last week I had drinks in Arlington with some of my friends from the Army. Some of them I have not seen since graduating from the Arabic course at the Defense Language Institute. As former soldiers do, we started telling stories—often embarrassing ones, and ones about me were some of the funnier ones. There were some things about Monterey that I have not thought about in over 12 years, and it seemed like we all were catching up from not seeing each other for a week, not a decade.

Of course, after drinks, we started friending each other on Facebook, and then I started finding some friends with whom I have lost touch since leaving Iraq. One of my friends whom I found on Facebook was a fellow Staff Sergeant in my unit. “Jay” was assigned to our unit right before we deployed to Iraq, and we grew together very quickly. Because I am a bit unorthodox, I would greet Jay every afternoon with, “Good Morning, Sunshine.” After a few weeks of this, even Jay’s West Point lieutenant did not notice. She gave up on trying to figure us out.
In general, he worked the night shift, and he and I shared a cot. When we went to Kurdistan together for our Rest and Recovery, we had a hotel room together. It was one of the few times on our deployment where we were able to relax fully and forget about life south of the Green Line in Arab Iraq.

He talked about his girlfriend, and then I told him about my partner who was in Afghanistan at the time. By this time, very little fazed Jay, and he told me it was no big deal. In fact, Jay already figured it out while overhearing some of my conversations with my partner on the military phone. He told me that he really did not care. After all, we were like brothers, and our friendship and working relationship were more important to him than me being gay.

I ended up leaving Iraq before Jay did, and due to his operation tempo, which only kept increasing, we lost touch. However, Clay gave me a burned CD of one of our favorite albums, David Gray’s White Ladder. On the CD he wrote, “To my Buttercup.” While most of my music is on my iPod, this is one of the few CDs that I have left, and it still makes me laugh to this day.

I have neglected my blog and some of my former friendships; however, I am glad that I reconnected with both… even my Sunshine.

PS I already put a demeaning comment about his favorite Big Ten team being knocked out of the Big Ten Men’s Basketball Tournament. On Wisconsin!